Half Truths
by As-Long-As-I'm-Around
Summary: Lisbon's hiding something. But, how do you keep a secret from someone who knows all?
1. Hidding In Plain Sight

_How do you keep a secret, from the one who knows all?_

_x._

_x. _

She was hiding something.

Patrick liked to think that he knew Lisbon pretty well. And since he was good with human observations, he was good at decoding each and every little expression that she had.

Just, well, just because.

The lines around her mouth were pulled tightly, as if she was trying to control quivering that only came from the strength of crying, or and trying to keep a secret. Her sea green-blue eyes were sheltered from their usual beauty by her scrunched eyebrows. He had a feeling they were going to rip apart. Now that would be a sight. He continued to study her stiff posture, and her hands that seemed to slightly shake on different occasions.

Teresa Lisbon halted.

"Reflexes are bit off today, hmm?" He commented before she could snap at him.

Usually he didn't get to study her for more than five seconds.

"'M tired," Her voice was hoarse-soft and scratchy, and she didn't look at him.

He frowned.

"That was a pitiful attempt. Shall we try again?" he murmured. She caught the concern, and forced herself to straighten up. Taking a deep breath, she glanced over at him, and then immediately looked away.

"I was up all night-not feeling too well. It's going around." She shrugged, looking at him quickly once more, before busying herself with the files.

Patrick was silent. Lisbon felt his heavy gaze, and slammed the folders onto the desk. She felt her shoulders go back in surprise at the noise that made, before directing a fierce look towards Patrick. Or rather, one she hoped that was fierce.

"I am not a human you can study. They have monkeys for that. Or, you know. Criminals?"

"That almost sounded genuine. Okay Lisbon, we'll let it slide for now." She just rolled her eyes at him, and turned her back, relaxing her face. She hated that patronizing voice. His tone was like talking to a child, like he had the knowledge but was waiting for the kid in question to come to him.

"But, you _can_ talk to me, alright?" He murmured, almost too gently for her to hear.

She didn't let a second go by to think about it, or else she might have cracked.

Maybe.

"You're being ridiculous. Get a life and stop trying to figure _mine _out. I'm just sick and tired."

They both paused at that one. Rarely did she see Jane looking surprised or rendered speechless.

"Um...sorry," She said quickly, making sure to look him in the eyes long enough for him to see she was sincere in her apology.

"I haven't had any coffee," she mumbled, and then stalked past him, making sure she didn't go anywhere near him.

Patrick stood there for a moment longer, digesting what had just happened. The way she couldn't look him in the eye, the way her hands either shook or she had them in tight fists, and the way she didn't come anywhere near him both pointed to dangerous conclusions, ones that terrified him.

But they were only suspicions, and he hoped that her loose excuses were true. She _did _look tired and unwell. The mind was funny when it knew the truth but wanted to believe the lies. For once, Patrick didn't want to know the truth.

Because it just may destroy him. Again.

_x._

_x. _

**A/N: Tell me what you think. **


	2. Fear

**A/N: I was so impressed with the feedback-you guys are all awesome. Seriously, thank you to everyone who reviewed, it meant a lot. And yes, I promise this story is going somewhere, it's fun to write. Lisbon and Jane are one of my favourite 'couples'.. I find them fascinating. I'm also glad that Simon Baker is an Aussie, haha. Okay, enough rambling. I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations-please let me know what you think! Oh, and I won't always be right on target with the characters, so I do apologize for that. **

_x._

_x. _

_How do you keep a secret, from the one who knows all?_

_x._

_x. _

Teresa Lisbon sealed the last blind, illuminating herself in a sense of darkness. She then returned to her desk, where her coffee sat dispelling heavenly smells. Feeling safety in this type of aloneness, she relaxed, bringing the cup up to her lips and taking a sip. The liquid warmed her, and yet, warmth wasn't what she needed. Her skin ached, bruises tormenting her at every movement. It was hard to keep the same face plastered on when her body was screaming curses at her, curses she also felt like expressing. Placing her cup back down onto her desk, she then dropped her arms to the desk, burying her head into the protection of them. She let her hair fall over her face, shielding her from sight. She was exhausted, but returning home was not an option. She would take exhaustion over being beaten. At that thought, her phone vibrated, and she felt dread expel through her, pressing against her bruised ribcage. She gasped at the types of pain it brought, before shooting a hand through her hair to try and calm herself.

Flipping the little cell phone open, she opened her message, her free fist clenched.

_Hey babe,_

_You haven't responded to my messages? I am sorry for last night, I tipped out all the alcohol, it's going to be different. I also went to a meeting today, and I have proof. _

_Please, I love you. _

_From Jeff_

Well, the saying went that a girl should want to marry someone like her father.

But this message was different, as he had never spoken about meetings or even having proof. He knew her enough to know that proof was important, as without evidence how do you believe someone?

The thing is, you shouldn't need evidence, you should be able to trust them.

Lisbon sent a quick reply, and had just enough time before her door opened.

She jumped, feeling red handed, gazing up at the person in mild terror.

Van Pelt paused, her own eyes wide.

"Boss?" she said uncertainly, unsure of what to say next. Lisbon held up a hand and placed it over her heart, before forcing a laugh.

"You scared me." She smiled at the younger girl, who simply raised her eyebrows in reply.

"Are you alright?" she pressed, her expression now worried. Lisbon licked her lips and nodded.

"I'm not feeling well, and when I get sick, I guess I just get um, weird."

There was a significant pause.

"Alright then," Van Pelt still sounded unsure, so Lisbon dived in,

"What can I help you with?" She folded her arms, trying to look professional and redeem herself.

"I was wondering if we can go home, we're finished with our jobs and there hasn't been any phone calls..." Van Pelt trailed off, and Lisbon looked at her watch.

Six o clock.

"Oh Grace, I'm sorry," Lisbon whispered, feeling ashamed. How dare she let her personal problems get in the way of her care for her team members? They should have been home an hour ago on a steady day like this. She wanted to kick herself, and the younger girl immediately came to her defence.

"It's okay Boss. We got to finish extra work." Grace shrugged, giving Lisbon a gentle smile to show that there were no hard feelings.

Lisbon stood up, knowing that she owed her team an apology, fighting the urge to ask Grace to do it for her. She knew that if it came from someone else, than not only was it unprofessional and disrespectful, but it wasn't her.

"Come on," she took one more sip of her coffee, well, to be honest more of a gulp, before leading the way out of her office.

She was met with the usual scene, Cho, expressionless and staring at a computer, Rigsby bored and tapping on his desk, and Patrick Jane 'sleeping' on 'his' sofa. At her arrival, both Cho and Rigsby looked up at her. Jane opened one eyelid, watching and observing her.

Lisbon clapped her hands together softly, running her eyes over her team. She suddenly felt nervous, and gripped her hands together.

"Guys, thanks for a great day, um, sorry to keep you here all longer than you should have been...I, um, I guess I lost track of time. I'm sorry."

"It's okay boss," Both Cho and Wayne said, and Lisbon smiled at them, though quickly looked away, her gaze wandering. The three agents started to organise and pack their things, when Jane's quiet voice, only loud by what he said, interrupted.

"If you ask me, that's not like you at all."

This brought a halting of all movement. Lisbon swallowed as four sets of eyes trapped her.

"No one asked you, Jane," she snapped, starting to back away.

"It is a good question, though." Grace was one of the boldest agents, though she looked scared when she looked at Lisbon.

"And I told you both, I am not feeling well. I don't hold mistakes over your heads when you're not well," she retorted, with a coldness that made Grace visibly flinch.

"Ah-"

"Jane, I do it to you because you need to learn from your idiotic mistakes." Lisbon broke him off, and Jane thought about it before shrugging, allowing that.

"Details," he said breezily.

"Truth."

"Touche."

Lisbon rolled her eyes before looking at the others, who still looked concerned.

"I promise when I get over this little bug I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow." Before anyone could say anything, she turned on her heel and stormed back into her office.

Sitting back in her chair, she felt the vibration and rolled out a groan, before flipping the phone open to the reply.

_Okay. We'll talk about it when I get home._

_It's going to be a late one, I'll text when I know for sure when I'm coming home._

_From Teresa. _

_Teresa,_

_You're not avoiding me, right? You trust me?_

_Should I be getting worried..or suspicious? _

_Is it just going to be you and Jane? _

_From, Jeff_

Lisbon switched her phone off and reached for her coffee.

Damn. It was cold.

She waited, giving her team a few minutes to pack up, knowing them well enough to know that they were eager to get out of here. She then stood up, taking her full cup with her and heading to the kitchen.

She should have really thought this decision through.

"Hello, Lisbon!" His voice was too charming, and she jumped, managing to spill her coffee.

He watched, looking amused but not feeling it.

"You usually love your coffee." He frowned, pondering. Lisbon gritted her teeth.

"I hate how you are so observant." She huffed, spilling the cups contents down the sink before grabbing a paper towel.

"No, you don't." Patrick disagreed, helpfully stepping out of her way as she went to bend down. She hesitated, looking at him out of the corner of her eye, before slowly bending down.

Patrick watched all this, slightly confused and very much concerned at her slow and sluggish movements.

"You love the way it catches criminals. Lisbon, are you okay?"

She was silent as she wiped the floor clean and jumped up, immediately turning her back to him as her face crinkled in pain, the only release of pain her body would get.

"I'm fine. It's not fun playing agent when you're sick." She sniffled, letting out a cough before throwing the towel away and then turning to him with a grin.

His face was serious.

"Come out to dinner with me."

Her eyes widened, and she quickly looked away, her eyes wandering again.

"Jane, as much as I love your company, I'm just honestly not that up for it." And she was being honest, so she knew there was no way Jane would be able to say otherwise. He smothered her with another look, making her feel trapped. She took a step back, and his expression softened.

"Alright," he shrugged. He watched as her shoulders relaxed, and if he squinted he could see the lines around her mouth softening in relief.

But he didn't need to be observant to see that.

"Get better." He wanted to give her a hug, wanted to see her smile again, because it was contagious. She was Lisbon, and he needed her to be well, to be good.

She offered a small smile in response, before slipping out of the small kitchen. Jane followed a moment later, and collapsed onto his sofa.

But he couldn't sleep. Nightmares once again chased at him, attacking mercilessly.

But tonight they were different ones, with different people.


	3. Tests

**A/N: So I'm up to like chapter seven in this story..and it gets a lot better as it gets through. I'll give you some examples.**

**-Jane and Lisbon fight, causing Lisbon to take Van Pelt along with her instead of Jane. This leads to a fatal situation..with the suspect pulling a gun on the two women. **

**So yeah. Please stick around. Here's chapter three, tell me what you think. **

_x._

_x. _

He kissed her gently on the forehead, hesitating before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. He then hooked his arm around her waist, leading her around the house and showing her the empty bottles. She nodded approvingly, faking a smile here and there as he justified himself, and as he showed the genuine signature from the meeting.

And then he waited, looking at her with such a proud expression. She was at loss for words. She wanted to congratulate him, but it was the first step, and while she knew it was the largest, she also knew it could be a fluke. Was he proud of all the torment he had unleashed on her? Should she show him the bruises that ruined her body proudly?

She swallowed her bitterness and forced herself to open her mouth.

"I'm proud of you Jeff. You've done well-this is for good, isn't it?" she looked up at him, her eyes desperate. He laughed and kissed her nose.

"Of course it is. It's about time I got a handle on myself and treated you how you deserve to be treated." She looked away, letting out a breath and untangling herself from him.

"I'm going to do some computer work. Cook us dinner?"

He looked confused.

"I wanted to go out and celebrate." He pouted, and she rose an eyebrow.

"How about we celebrate it when it lasts for a week, okay?" She hadn't meant for the words to come out the way they did, but...well, maybe she did. But she knew it was risky, horrible. But what he had done was a whole lot worse than just some mean words.

He clenched his fists, and she took a step back. But then he blew out his breath, and nodded. She stared at him, eyes wide.

"Okay, okay. You're right, baby. I'll cook us some tea, you go do what you need to do." And with that he disappeared into the kitchen, and her ears met with the rattling of somebody preparing a dish. She gaped at the closed kitchen door, unable to comprehend what had just happened, though allowing a small glint of hope to explode through her at the change. She smiled a real smile, before heading towards the computer. Of her knowledge of alcohol related abuse, things had never completely headed in this direction. She was willing to ride this one out, because she loved Jeff, the person he really was, not the person he became when intoxicated. And, it had only happened once. He had never laid a finger on her until the night before. Lisbon was smart, and she had good judgement. She had to. So, she trusted herself to have good judgement about this.

_x._

_x. _

"Well, well, well," Patrick slurred as soon as she bounced into work the next morning.

"Someone's in a much happier mood." He observed her, his eyes roaming for any deception. He seemed surprised, and dare she say, a little relieved?

"Aw, was someone concerned for me? I told you I'm fine." She didn't resist the childish urge to stick her tongue out at him, causing a huge beam to split his face, crinkling his eyes. Her heart soared warmly, her tongue still out.

"Hey boss, you didn't tell us you were seeing someone!" Grace interrupted the moment, and Jane's smile slipped off his face, replaced by a very serious one as he stared at her. She stuck her tongue back in slowly, and gulped. Plastering a smile on her face, she looked at Grace, who was sparkling with curiosity.

"Um, yeah. His name is Jeff, he's a nice guy." Lisbon didn't look at Jane, though she could feel his scowl.

"How long?" Grace demanded, and Lisbon's eyebrows shot up.

"Does it really matter?" she said desperately, now playing with her hands and finding them rather fascinating.

"Yes. We're a team, and we're meant to have trust." That was Jane, his voice slightly choked.

Lisbon turned to him, feeling bolder today,

"Oh? And you never break the rules?" She then turned back to Grace, giving the girl as nice of a smile as she could muster.

"I'm a very private person, I mean no offence by it. We've been dating for a couple of months now. And you can meet him when you do. Now don't you have something you need to be doing?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. We got a phone call." Grace launched into the story, and Lisbon listened, nodding before deciding the decisions. As usual, Lisbon was stuck with Jane. This time it didn't annoy her, it scared her, because Jane had that look on his face. That determined, missionary face that usually meant he would get answers, and she knew she was the question.

The silence in the car lasted five minutes.

In this time, Jane decided to stare at her. In fact, it was so intense that Lisbon felt the need to move every time to see if she had had a hole burnt through her. She shivered under it a couple of times, until the only thing that would stop her moving was to clench her fists and mouth so tight that it began to ache.

"Oh. My goodness, what Jane!" She finally released her yell of frustration. Jane's eyebrows rose up.

"Those outbursts of anger, do those occur normally?"

"Oh, you want to start talking about therapy do you?" she shot back, and Jane's eyebrows only dipped further towards his hairline.

"My, my. Do we snap back careless retorts as a defence? Why are you so defensive, Lisbon?" He sounded like he genuinely wanted to know, but Lisbon knew Jane always had a motive underneath it. Too bad she didn't realise what this motive was.

"Because, Jane, you're picking at my personal life. You're asking pointless questions, for no reason? So I have a boyfriend. So I was sick yesterday, so I'm better now. How is this concerning?" Her voice rose not in volume but in masked frustration. She was scared he would find out the truth. She knew part of her was in denial, and she didn't want to have to deal with it all out in the open.

Jane looked thoughtful for a moment before he finally responded in such a quiet voice that Lisbon barely heard him.

"You were so scared. It's how a woman acts, when...well. And then I find out you have a boyfriend? It does raise some concerns for me, Lisbon. And that's only because I care about you."

A heavy silence fell. Lisbon kept one hand on the steering wheel while she ran the other through her hair.

"I'm sorry Jane," she finally said quietly.

"I, well, you know I care about you too. I'm just-"

"Tired." Jane offered flatly.

Lisbon's silence was her agreement.

"Do you want the truth then?" Jane instantly perked up, looking at her very seriously now.

"Yes, Lisbon. I would love the truth." He stared at her, eyes so serious that it made her heart almost stop. She would tell the truth-but she didn't say she would tell him the whole truth. He wouldn't know, anyway.

She hoped.

"Alright, well. And, you mustn't think he's a bad person. We met at a bar one night, drowning in our sorrows. What I didn't know was that that was a regular thing for him. Very regular. And he got mean when he drank." Jane stiffened, knuckles clenching. Lisbon forced a gentle smile.

"Nothing like that. Just words. I was worried and scared, but then I talked to him about it last night, but turns out he already took care of it and is now going to meetings." Lisbon flashed a big smile at him,

"Isn't that great?"

She waited for his relief, and though he relaxed at no mention of her getting hurt, he still stayed tense, deep in thought.

And then his piercing eyes met hers, catching her. She quickly looked away before they trapped her.

"No that isn't great. That's sad that you felt the need to drown yourself in your sorrows. That's sad you had to go alone through that, and it's sad that he was mean to you. And you swear he didn't touch you, didn't hurt you?"

"He didn't," she answered quickly, keeping her eyes firmly on the road.

"This is a straight road, so look at me and swear." Jane ordered, and Lisbon felt that this was the test. That if she convinced him of it, then he would believe her, and maybe she would believe herself, too.

"I swear Jane," She said gently, smiling at him, before her eyes flickered and she was looking back at the road. She felt him staring at her for awhile before he looked away.

Neither of them spoke for the rest of the hour long drive.

_x._

_x. _


	4. A Scared Fool's Decision

_x._

_x._

**A/N: This is where the crap hits the fan. **

_x._

_x._

A week had passed since Lisbon had sworn to Jane that he hadn't hurt her. Jane often thought about it, the moment lingering in his mind as he tried to remember the way she had exactly answered it. Had her eyes moved too quickly away? The trouble to that question was that he knew Lisbon was a cautious driver, so it was hard to separate what was really what there. Had her she bit her lip, and had her mouth pushed together?

He couldn't seem to remember the details, which severely annoyed him as they were the most important. Words were words-but it was what was behind them that was important. That's how you decoded the truth from a lie. He had watched Lisbon steadily shape back into who she was, but there seemed to be stress lines permanently attached to her face. Too often he stretched out, as if to massage them away, but Lisbon's sharp and almost frightened look always stopped him. There always seemed to be a tension between them, one that was unfavourable in almost every way, especially in the job.

He worried about her, but she was very much like him; a private person. And the fact that he had poked in her personal life was the very reason she clearly avoided him. And that was another thing that worried him; that she seemed so defensive about it.

Jane rubbed his temples, feeling the headache forming in his tense muscles. He moved his shoulders and stretched his neck, trying to avoid it.

"Jane." That was Lisbon, formal and snappy. Jane peeked on eye open.

"Yes?" He drew out the word sleepily.

"Get up, we have to go somewhere." At this, he opened both eyes and slowly sat up.

"Really? Is it a long drive?"

"Unfortunately."

"That reeked with annoyance." Jane commented, and then flashed a grin.

"You usually love our car rides."

"You're delusional. Please tell me what give you that impression? You're a bit off than, Jane. That's concerning. Get up, we have to go."

He chuckled to himself, stretching out slowly and yawning. Lisbon stood, a hand on her hip as she stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"Am I going with you?"

"I'm the only one who can stand you on car rides. And I can barely stand you at all."

Jane touched his breast.

"I'm wounded, Lisbon. You know deep down you thrive on these moments. You-"

"Oh, my goodness Jane," Lisbon snapped, already fed up with the man,

"Shut up and get your things. I should just leave your ass here."

"But, you won't." Jane said knowingly. Lisbon raised her eyebrows.

"Want to bet, Jane?" She held his gaze, face hard.

"You're unusually angry this morning. What happened?" His tone became soft, and Lisbon's face snapped into surprise before she looked expressionless.

"The coffee was bad, and I've been swamped while you've been doing nothing. You know what? I'm not up for your chitchat today so you can stay. I'll handle this one on my own!" she stormed past him, and Jane grabbed her arm, swinging her back around.

"Whoa, Lisbon. Bad idea, not only is that unprofessional but it's dangerous. I won't let you go alone by yourself, especially if it's far away." Jane was absolutely serious now, truly concerned at how serious Lisbon herself was.

"I'll take Van Pelt. You can stay by the phones."

"Are you sure that's really wise? I may be a people observer but I am not a people person. It's unwise to bet against me." Jane warned.

"Jane, out of all the favours I've done for you, you can at least do me this one." She snapped at him, before pushing past him and up to Van Pelt.

"Van Pelt, you're with me. Let's go." She said briskly, already heading to the elevators. Jane stood, motionless and in shock, not even needing to look to see Grace's shocked expression on him.

"What about the phones?" He didn't blame her for sounding scared. He knew he was.

"Jane has them. Come on!" Lisbon sounded further away, yet he could hear the impatience in her voice.

"Boss, that's not a-"

"Now!" Jane winced, and Grace blew out a breath.

"Thanks a lot," she hissed to him, and he couldn't even chuckle at that. He then heard the elevator noises, and that's when he allowed himself to turn around to the empty desks. He didn't need to have special skills to know that this was bad. This was really bad.

x.

x.

Lisbon hurt. She really hurt. This was her dad all over again, except that she had never gotten the abuse first hand, only because she had not stood by, she had jumped in to protect her younger brothers. For the first week, things had finally settled down, and Lisbon was starting to believe that there was a chance for them. And then Jeff had had a bad day, and she had walked into dangerous territory without realising it. That had been last night. Jeff had apologized over and over again, had cooked her breakfast and made her favourite juice, bringing the plate in with a dozen roses. She could hear his words ringing in her ears,

"Babe, I'm thinking rehab. The meetings just aren't doing it for me. Please, please say you'll stay."

She had told him she'd think about it. She remembered the violent look that had appeared on his face, before he stormed out, slamming doors and driving off so fast that there had been burn marks.

She remembered that through the attack, she had stayed silent. It did no good to scream.

"Lisbon!" Lisbon jumped, coming back into the present. By the way Grace was staring at her, and by the way she had shouted her name, Lisbon knew that it wasn't the first or the second time she had said her name. Also, how she had called her Lisbon and not boss, also proved that.

"Sorry Grace, what were you saying?" Lisbon looked at the younger girl curiously. Why did Grace always manage to see her at her worse?

"I was wondering if we could stop in and get something to eat. I...I kind of missed breakfast," she admitted sheepishly. Lisbon raised her eyebrows.

"Not like you Grace, to make unwise decisions like that. Sure, we can get something to eat."

Grace looked like she wanted to say something, yet just looked the other way.

Lisbon called her on it.

"What was that? If you have something to say, do say it." It was one of her pet peeves when people didn't say what they needed to.

"Speaking of unwise decisions...Jane staying on the phones?" Lisbon immediately turned her eyes back to the road, slowing down at a petrol station. She ran a hand through her hair, and sighed before stopping the car.

"It was unwise. I don't know what's wrong with me lately, I think I'm still sick. I hope he behaves himself." She frowned, and Grace touched her hand lightly, surprising Lisbon.

"You can talk about it if you want." She said softly.

Lisbon smiled.

"Honestly Grace, we're meant to keep private lives private, remember?" she gave her a stern look, and Grace blushed.

"But there really is nothing to talk about. Life is great, Jeff is great, my job is...great. I'm happy."

"That's good then. But the offer is always there."

Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"Come on. Let's get you some food. Maybe that will stop you from being so delusional..."

x.

x.

"Put your weapon down, sir!" Lisbon yelled, hands shaking slightly as she pointed the gun to the man.

There was the occasional suspect that acted up, that didn't think their actions through. This was one of those occasional moments. The older man pointed his gun at the two women, sweat rolling down his red face, shaking from anger.

"I didn't kill my daughter!" he roared, his finger trembling on the trigger.

"We can talk about this. But don't do something that you will regret." Lisbon said, making her voice gentle and coaxing.

"You won't believe me!" he howled in anguish.

"Sir we will find the evidence. But if you're innocent and you shoot one of us, you will go away!" Lisbon yelled firmly.

Throughout this, Van Pelt had stayed silent, keeping herself steady and ready if anything sour was to happen. She left the talking up to Lisbon, who was wiser and who had been in these situations enough times to know what to do and how to handle them.

Or so, she had thought.

The bullet pierced her in the stomach, and she was down in seconds. She pressed her face into the dirt, trying to bury herself, trying to separate herself from the sharp and agonizing pain. She hadn't worn her vest. She hadn't known that she was going to be in the fields, and she hadn't had time to grab one.

"Grace!" Lisbon shrieked, her eyes wide. This gave the man the opportune moment to run.

"Get him, get him!" Grace cried, panting into the dirt now, trying to cry quietly as she held her stomach. Lisbon looked torn, before she started chasing the man. She chased him through trees and dirt, and only when she had a clear vision of him did she realise her mistake. She should have shot him in the leg.

He knew this area, she didn't, and he could use that to his advantage.

They shot at the same time, both hitting the target, and both going down.

Lisbon had never been shot before. It was a new experience, and one she never wanted to have again. The pain was blinding; she didn't know where she had been hit because it hurt everywhere. She was soon surrounded in her blood, her gaze becoming hazy as her brain began to shut down.

One word screamed through it though, the message loud and clear.

Jane.

Jane, Jane, Jane.

_Jane._

She reached for her pant pockets, where she kept her phone. It hurt to stretch, but she pushed through the pain, knowing that this was critical and three lives hung in the balance, and rested in her own bloody hands.

She dialled the number, and the phone slipped beside her head. She didn't have the strength to hold onto it anymore.

"Hello? Lisbon?" He sounded worried, but she wasn't sure. She didn't know anything, except the pain was slowly ebbing away as she slipped away.

"Jane," she breathed.

"Jane, Jane, Jane..."


	5. Open Your Eyes

_x._

_x._

**A/N: Enjoy and review and I'll have the next chapter up soon as so we can get this story tracking into the good stuff.**

_x._

_x._

Time stopped for Jane, even though all around him time seemed to speed up as orders were shouted and instructions were made.

They were too far away. They would never make it. Lisbon was going to die, and Grace would die with her. Two people who meant something to him.

_Lisbon. _

He couldn't comprehend it, wouldn't comprehend it. Lisbon had brought him from a very dark place, to a place he was comfortable and secure in. He even liked it. But the little family he had come to grow and love was about to be torn apart and changed forever, and it wouldn't survive the hit. Already Rigsby was demanding to go along, and although his motives were questioned he refused to answer them truthfully. Cho was expressionless, but in a different kind of way then he usually was.

And then the first good news all night came.

"They've been found and the three of them are all in hospital." Jane weakly collapsed onto his sofa, his hands pressing into his hands as he massaged his face.

"Jane."

Jane took a deep breath, composing himself before looking up and into the face of Cho.

"You want a ride?"

"Yes." Jane stood up, wobbling slightly and falling into Cho's side.

"I know," Cho said, steadying him and giving a supportive pat on the arm before walking ahead. Rigsby walked up to him, giving him a knowing look.

"Say it, Wayne," Jane said calmly as they both followed Cho into the elevator.

"Are you going to tell her?" He demanded.

Jane frowned, confused.

"Tell her what?"

"That you love her." Cho interrupted smoothly. Jane's eyebrows shot up to his hair line.

"Well this is awkward. I mean, I admire Lisbon and I enjoy our-"

"Don't be mad because the people's person got observed and it was correct. Just tell her, you damn fool before it's too late. That's what I'm doing. I mean, I'm telling Grace." Jane remained silent, trying to remain composed when he was completely astounded. He searched, trying to conjure up something and then sighed long and loud.

"Lisbon's a very good friend. She's done a lot for me."

"So in return you want to do a lot for her, to her..." Cho said, blankly. Rigsby choked on a snort, before covering up with a cough as Jane set his narrowed eyes in his direction.

"That's an interesting way to put it. But not sexual things, Cho. Not the things you do to your lover."

There was an embarrassed pause, and Cho coughed.

For the first time, a car ride with Jane was completed in silence.

Jane pondered, wondering what he would say to Lisbon when he did see her. Would she make it? The hospital hadn't been to specific with the details, except they were in surgery. Life without Lisbon wasn't even a thinkable situation. She was the only woman in his life now that stood up to him, and battled words with him and sometimes even conquered him at his own game. She was the one who believed in him and fought for him. His fists clenched at the very real possibility of another loved one being removed from his life. He almost laughed at the fact that this wasn't Red John's doing. Red John would be pissed.

Did he love Lisbon? Until this moment, he had known he'd loved her as a friend, as family. But until the fact that he might be forced to live without her, he had never known the true extent of how much he cherished, and loved her. Maybe he had known, but maybe it had been buried under the vengeance he held for Red John, the love, the guilt and the sorrow he held over his lost family. Yet somewhere all through that, he had known all along that he loved Lisbon.

He remembered hearing her weak voice on the phone. He could tell she was slipping.

"Jane..."

"Lisbon, what's happened? Where are you? Lisbon stay with me!" Usual composed Jane was gone, replaced with a rare sight-panicked Jane. He hadn't given a damn about facades.

He remembered Rigsby's face, as realisation dawned on him that Grace was with Lisbon. Jane had then felt immense guilt, as if he had not annoyed Lisbon he would have gone with her, they would have closed the case and everything would have been fine. But because he couldn't keep his mouth shut, Lisbon had made a foolish choice and now three lives hung in the balance.

Her job also hung in the balance. Once Hightower had found out the details she was furious. She also admired Lisbon, Jane knew, and was confused and worried at what had brought this decision on.

Jane also was, too. Lisbon had been unusually angry...

"Jane, we're here. Come on."

He bounded out of the car so quickly he would have fallen on his face if Cho hadn't been there.

"You're becoming too predictable, Jane."

"It's a scary day." Jane agreed.

_x._

_x._

Lisbon was dreaming. She had to be, because this couldn't be her reality. It was too surreal, to beautiful and too perfect.

"Here's your breakfast," she couldn't work out who it was, yet the voice was oddly familiar. It whispered around her, securing her in safety.

"Thank you. Are you an angel?" The man laughed, and she shivered, smiling up at him the blurry figure.

"Do you believe in that stuff?" He sat down next to her, putting a warm hand over hers. She looked closely at him, but no matter how hard she squinted she couldn't decode who it was.

"It would be nice to know that a higher power was looking out for you, yes. Makes your life seem so much more important..." her eyes and voice both dropped, and she swallowed.

"Your life is important, Teresa. I may be an angel, but I may also be your conscience. Or maybe I'm kind of like both. See, there's something in your conscience you already know. There are a few things. And I'm here to help you discover them. Or not discover them, since you already know them. But bring them to the light."

"Your way of logic is awfully familiar."

"Really? Hmm." He drawled.

"So Lisbon, we don't have much time. I need you to concentrate. What's been going on in your life that you know is wrong."

Lisbon pursed her lips. She wasn't going to do this.

"Ah, by that I see you already know. And by the way your face reacted like that, you know it's wrong-and yet you continue to pursue it. Why?"

"I...I um. I don't know what you're talking about." She turned her away, gritting her teeth stubbornly.

She looked back, sneaking a glance, yet even though she couldn't see the person, she could see the look; feel the look. And she couldn't look away.

"Try again."

Why did she stay? She hadn't really thought the thing through. Did she stay because she loved Jeff, loved the man he had shown her, lead her blindly to believed until it was too late for her to escape? Why didn't she escape, was she afraid of the very real possibility of becoming alone? Was being lonely worse than living in pain, and fear?

"Ah," he murmured gently.

"Lisbon, you were not destined to be alone. You have a match; you just have to open your eyes. If you do not get out of your relationship now, than I truly fear you will be lost from the course you're meant to go on."

She swallowed and pulled away from him, shivering from his words. If he was scared for her, than what hope did she really have?

"How do I do it?" she whispered, feeling the shame flood her, dancing around her and suffocating her. She let out a choked whimper, and went to bury her head into her hands, bury herself away from it when she felt herself being wrapped in arms of, well, it sounded corny but of love-a golden love. That was the only way she could describe it.

"Do not fear, Teresa. You have loved ones in your life who are more than willing to do anything for you to secure your safety." The whisper of these words seemed to take away the weight in her chest, and she felt as if she could breathe properly as she looked up at the blurred figure.

"Trust, Teresa. You need to have trust. Open your eyes. Open your eyes."

She felt herself fading, and her eyes opened in horror at the realisation.

"Don't be afraid to look weak for asking for help is the very essence of strength."

"Open your eyes...don't be afraid."

And her eyes snapped open and into the very worried eyes of Patrick Jane.


	6. Freedom

_x._

_x._

**A/N: I think you'll like this chapter. Many people have been like, Lisbon would never allow herself to be hurt like this. So I think you'll like it. With that said, don't get too excited about it...anyway :) I think you should review yes? **

_x._

_x._

"Oh!" she cried out in alarm. Patrick's face split into a huge grin, and Lisbon found herself smiling back, because one of Patrick's beams was contagious.

"Teresa Lisbon, if you ever do that again...I...don't you realise I, we need you, Lisbon?" He was speaking soft, but she felt as if he were screaming the words at her. And perhaps he was.

"Forgive me for annoying you, forgive me." He pleaded up at her, eyes open and face wide as he let her in. She grasped his warm hands in hers, squeezing them.

"Forgive me," she whispered. "Forgive me." She saw his tears, and reached out to wipe them away.

Never had these two shared a moment as sweet and as honest as this. However, it was sadly interrupted when a nurse walked in. Patrick moved away from her, watching through very serious eyes as the nurse checked on Lisbon.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a truck," Lisbon answered honestly. Patrick snorted half heartedly.

"Close," The nurse tried, and Lisbon bit back a pitiful smile.

And then a very painful thought slammed into Lisbon so hard that she lost her breath, causing a huge gasp to erupt through her. Jane and the nurse looked at her, with faces so worried that Lisbon would have laughed if this weren't such a serious situation.

"How's Grace!" The nurse frowned, but Patrick relaxed, sighing in relief.

"She's fine-she woke up three days." Lisbon too looked relieved, until it hit her. She turned back to Jane.

"Three days? How long has it been-how long have I been unconscious?" Her eyes felt heavy as she dragged her gaze back to the nurse.

"You've been unconscious for a week," she said softly. Lisbon dropped her eyes to her bed, twisting the sheets in her clenched hands. Patrick watched all this curiously.

Lisbon then looked back up at the nurse.

"Why...why do you suppose that is?" she wondered in a small voice, afraid of the answer.

The nurse looked thoughtful for a moment as she ticked off the checklist on her clipboard.

"I suppose, well...you didn't lose a lot of blood, in fact Grace was more in a serious condition than you. My guess is that you had no will to live."

The nurse watched as the man and her patient froze in complete shock, utter reflections of the other. She watched as the man then displayed horrified devastation, before he shot an accusing look at Lisbon, who now looked angry.

"You're wrong." She said definitely, lifting her chin, holding the nurse's gaze.

"That's not me at all. I don't give up."

The nurse shrugged.

"I just call them how I see them. Rest up, and Doctor Richard will be in later to see you. Everything seems fine, are you feeling any unbearable pain?"

Even if Lisbon was, she wouldn't tell. Patrick almost smiled at that thought.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you." Her voice was stiff, still wounded at the nurse's suggestion earlier. The nurse nodded in understanding, bid her farewell and walked out the door, shutting it gently behind her.

"Well that was interesting." Patrick turned his gaze on her. It was one of his intense ones, and she had to resist the very strong urge to pull the blanket up over her face.

"Jane, that's not me. I remember a dream-something my conscience or guardian angel were telling me. I...well, yeah. It was very revealing. I don't control these things, Jane. If I had had an option between life or death, I would have chosen life." She left the most important part unsaid. I would have chosen you.

Jane nodded.

"It's nice to believe in those sorts of things." He mused.

Lisbon was about to comment when the door was banged open, so suddenly that Lisbon let out a squeak and even Jane jumped. Jane then shot her an amused look, but Lisbon was too busy looking horrified to see it.

"Jeff! What...?" she trailed off, confused at the furious man standing before her. She cowered slightly, and Jane stood up, looking annoyed himself.

"So you're the famous Jeff, huh?"

Jeff ignored Jane.

"A week!" He hissed, fuming. Jane's eyebrows rose, completely shocked at the man's behaviour.

Yet Lisbon, who was used to it, took no time in responding.

"I only just woke up! What do you except me to do, huh! I'm sorry that I was unconscious for a week. Did you want to me to visit in your dreams to tell you?" Lisbon snapped back, over being treated the way she was being unfairly treated. And that was politely putting it.

Jane spoke for her before Jeff could respond.

"Wow. Honestly, if I were in your position, I would have tears of relief that my girlfriend just woke up, you idiotic moron. I wouldn't be accusing her of all people about not being contacted. In fact, I'd be too damned relief that she was alive and well. For someone who's scored such a wonderful and smart woman, you're not very smart yourself. Does she make up for that?" Jane wondered. Lisbon stared at Jane, too shocked to feel angry for him speaking for her, or for what he spoke about.

Jeff looked surprised, too, before trying to redeem himself.

"I-I am relieved. I was just so-"

"Oh, wa, wa. I'm not interesting in your excuses. But Lisbon might be. I'll leave you to it." He turned to Lisbon, his eyes now gentle.

"Will you be okay?"

Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"Go Jane. And thanks," she said, and he nodded before shooting Jeff another annoyed look. Jeff waited till he was gone before rounding on Lisbon, furious. She crossed her arms, holding her head high.

"We need to talk." Jeff said.

"Oh, yes, we do." Lisbon confirmed.

Lisbon and Jeff stared at each other for a moment, before Jeff crumbled, coming to her side. Lisbon held up a hand, leaning back into the bed, wishing she could just sink into it. Jeff stopped, his eyes worried, biting his lip nervously as he waited.

"I'm breaking up with you. Not only did you feed me false pretences and lies, you hurt me. You abused me. You were mean. You were cold. You were not Jeff. And I have given you so many chances, all of them you didn't deserve. But I'm through. I'm through hurting for you and covering for you. In fact I'm resisting the urge to kick your ass right now. But I won't because than that would lead to discussions I don't want to have. But you, I swear, if you touch me again, I will kill you. Do you hear me, Jeff? I will kill you."

Through this speech, Jeff had had different face expression, all of them Lisbon had enjoyed seeing. They ranged from sad, to desperate, to scared, to white pale.

He was visibly shaking, yet looked thoughtful. Lisbon snorted, though was intrigued to see what he would say to plead his case now to her.

"I love you." He said simply. Lisbon raised her eyebrows, but when it was clear he wasn't saying anything, she dived in.

"You don't do that to someone you love. I want you gone when I get home, and I swear Jeff, if I hear you doing this to another woman, your sorry ass is going down!" she promised.

"Lisbon please...all of this, it made me really realise. I swear, I-"

"Get out." She said coldly. When he didn't move, she reached for the phone.

"I mean it!"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, looking pathetic. Lisbon didn't know why she hadn't done this sooner. She would have stopped a lot of damage and hurt. She wouldn't be in hospital right now. Grace wouldn't have been shot either. He walked out of the room. Lisbon barely had a chance to compose herself before someone else walked in. Though this replacement was better.

"Hey, boss." Grace's soft voice was soothing, and Lisbon smiled at the younger girl.

"Grace, I am so sorry-" Lisbon began. Grace, looking fully fresh in her own clothes, her hair still damp from a shower, held up a hand, a smile on her face.

"What's done is done. I forgive you Lisbon. I know you made a silly mistake, but ultimately that guy is the one who decided to shoot at us," Grace said softly, taking her boss's hand in hers. Lisbon squeezed it.

"I am so glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't." Lisbon fought her tears furiously. She wasn't going to cry.

"Well let's be glad we don't have to think about that, huh?" Grace laughed softly, and Lisbon forced a smile. How very glad she was that she didn't have to think about that. The two pondered in silence, still holding hands, feeling grateful that they had the other.

The doctor chose this precise moment to waltz in.

"Damn," Lisbon breathed in annoyance.

"What is with you doctors ruining moments?" The older man chuckled, and Grace squeezed her hand before letting go.

"Grace Van Pelt, I am glad to see you up and at them. Remember what we said though," he warned her sternly. Grace nodded.

"Don't worry, Rigsby won't let me forget it." She rolled her eyes, and Lisbon smiled. She didn't care if it was against the rules at this moment. Screw the rules.

"Ah, that gentleman who stayed with you the whole time that Cho had to pick him to get him rest. Yes, nice man." Grace's eyes widened and she blushed a pretty red crimson.

"Alright Teresa, there's a few questions that I have to ask you." Lisbon nodded, and Grace mumbled an embarrassed goodbye before heading to the door. She managed to catch,

"You seem to have some abnormal bruises, and a lot of them." But she quickly shut the door, too scared to hear the response. She leant against the wall, trying to catch her breath while her heart pounded heavily and loudly against her chest.

"Grace? What's wrong?" a voice demanded, and a comforting hand wrapped around her arm.

Grace looked up and into the concerned eyes of Wayne. He was closer to her than she thought, and she was momentarily distracted.

She recollected her thoughts before looking up at him again.

"I just heard...the doctor said Lisbon had abnormal bruises and a lot of them? The way he said it, he sounded suspicious."

Wayne's eyebrows pulled together as he thought, trying to find the words to comfort them. They all treasured Lisbon, and the idea of her having abnormal bruises that worried the doctor was scary.

"She probably got them while chasing the guy, Grace. You were out of it, weren't you? I'm sure it's nothing." Wayne finally said. Grace thought for a moment, before letting out a sigh of relief and sagging against him.

"You're right," she breathed, and Wayne chuckled.

"I usually am. Come on, the doctors said no excitement for you, missy." He lead her away from the door, where behind it Lisbon was stuck on the statement, or question the doctor had implied.


	7. Please's And Let Me Go's

_x._

_x._

**A/N: I think you'll like this chapter. Many people have been like, Lisbon would never allow herself to be hurt like this. So I think you'll like it. With that said, don't get too excited about it...anyway :) I think you should review yes? **

_x._

_x._

"The suspect had an advantage over us right away. He knew the bush. I didn't. I went chasing him, and I remember falling a couple of times. I remember some pain, but I don't remember what I fell over." She shrugged casually.

"It's all part of the job I guess." The doctor peered at her closely before writing something down.

Lisbon nodded to the clipboard.

"What did you just write?" she demanded. Doctor Richard's eyebrows rose at her boldness.

Lisbon continued.

"If it's about me, than I have a right to know!"

The doctor narrowed his eyes at her, pursing his lips.

"Why are you so defensive, Teresa?"

"I thought you were a doctor, not a shrink." Lisbon bit back.

The doctor had to admire her responses. She was smart and witty, both negative and positive attributes of one's character.

"Do you think you need one?" But he was better.

Lisbon shrank back, knowing right now she had to put the brakes on and redeem herself, or she might be subjected to a shrink again. And that had worked out so well the last time.

And she explained that.

The doctor nodded, scribbling some notes.

"I don't know what you're implying doctor but I live a good life. I have a job where I can save people and put the bad people away. I work with a great bunch of people. I'm ready to face up to the responsibility of my mistake and work harder." She declared all of this with such passion that the doctor could do nothing but simply believed her, though, he still had his suspicions, yet chose to ignore them.

His speaking up could of saved Lisbon.

x.

x.

She could feel Jane's gaze on her, and hear the grinding of her teeth with each more pointed look. She sighed through her nose as the car slowed to a gentle stop. Lisbon was half out of the door with a mumbled, "Thank you," when she felt herself being pulled back in. Remembering what happened the last time this happened, she immediately tensed, her eyes popping wide. Jane loosened his grip on her as he watched all this, but did not release the young woman.

"Lisbon."

She shuddered at his tone, biting down hard on her lip.

"It was the most foolish decision I could have made. I let my anger get the better of me. And I'll have to live with that." Jane's expression was sober; she couldn't remember the last time she saw him looking so, well, _open._

"It's not really what you did..it's why you did it. No matter how much I may have triggered you into anger, you've always kept a cool head when it comes to the team."

Lisbon closed her eyes.

"Is it to do with Jeff?"

This was a dangerous topic and Lisbon knew she needed to stop it _now. _

"No, Jeff is fine," She bit her lip, wondering how she was going to do this. It would seem very odd if she appeared to be broken up with Jeff, but how could she spin her web of lies so no one got caught, not even herself?

She smiled up at him, the sides of her mouth aching with the force.

"Jeff is, well, Jeff is great. I just..honestly we just need to go to bed earlier."

There was a tense silence.

"Stop lying to me!" His voice vibrated through the car and through her, causing her to jump in her seat. She edged close to the door, and frowned when she heard the pop of the locks. She glanced back at Jane, trying to control her breathing. She could almost feel the anger dripping off him, yet when he spoe his voice was gentle, like water lapping over rocks.

"I'm sorry I scared you. Lisbon, why bother lying to me at all? I know something is off."

Lisbon finally snapped.

"There has to be something wrong, doesn't there? You always have to get in everyone's damn business! Well, maybe it just happened! Why don't you put your own nose into your life before you start pointing fingers?" Her throat now ached from the force of her scream, along with her whole body which was still vibrating with both anger and terror.

It was Jane's turn to look surprised.

But what surprised him more was when Lisbon didn't apolgoize, just sat there with a definant snarl.

"Open the door!"

"No." He whispered, now looking sad.

"Damn it, Jane, open this door!" she shoved against it with her shoulder, crying out when pain exploded through her. Jane's eyes widened in alarm as he realised this, and he reached out to take her small form into a hug.

"Let go! Open this damn door!"

"Teresa, what's wrong?" He was almsot pleading with her now, and she felt sick.

"I'm tired, and I want to be by myself. Please." They stared at each other.

"I don't want to leave you alone."

She rolled her eyes, trying to bring this situation back to normality. But they were far past it.

"I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"Clearly."

They glared at each other. She gave him a shove, startling him and leaned over to unlock the door before barging out. Jane followed her.

"At least...let me make you a tea." She stopped, and turned around. He looked so helpless and desperate, that her heart strings were tugged furiously.

"Jane. I'm tired. I will call you before I go to bed and in the morning. But, I need to be by myself." Jane took a small step foward, and she took one back, before he sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"If you don't I'll-"

"I know." She offered a small smile.

"Goodbye."

She turned and walked into her house. He could only watch, and he couldn't help wondering that when she said goodbye so formally, that she really meant it.


	8. To Not Move On

Year 12 sucks. In fact this year sucks. However, writing and shows like this do not suck. Though how would I know, I haven't watched this show in ages as I refuse to watch half a show. I have to wait till the DVD comes out. Anyway sorry, please keep reading and reviewing and make life good :) No pressure.. (DO IT!)

x.

x.

Lisbon had had a plan. It was a good one too. She was like that-when something went astray to how it was meant to go, then Lisbon calculated all possible paths and solutions until there was a set one. She didn't like taking chances, although Patrick Jane had changed that, had taught her that the best things happen when taking risks.

And sometimes she agreed. When her job wasn't suffering from it, when she wasn't being yelled at about it. And even though she deined it with a stern look, just sometimes, she couldn't hide the smile of agreement.

But this-this plan could not afford anymore risks. She was going to make things right again, rebuild the trust even though her team denied it ever being broken. Grace had gotten shot for pete's sake, and even though she had ended up worse, it had still happened. The fact that they hadn't been wearing protction was another manner that had been spoken upon of then disregarded by Grace. It was as if the woman knew something, and that made Lisbon nervous. What also made her nervous was not being in control, and she had taken that back the moment she had cut the abusive boyfriend out. And she felt good. Freedom was good, and something that should never be taken away. That was one of her inspirations in the decision making of what to do with her life. If she could save people from all kinds of evil-in freeing them from it, no matter what it did to her, no matter the nights stayed up sobbing, or the nightmares, then she was more than happy to sacrifice anything to achieve that. Nothing compared to the joy in her heart in being sucessful, of the thankful smiles that shone so bright that it hurt to stare at, that reached right in the pit of her stomach and chased away the darkness. That reached a place that ached, a place in which she didn't think would ever be touched, and healed it.

The fact that Lisbon had freed herself brought her immense joy, shadowing brightly over other dark feelings, such as stupidity for not doing it sooner, anger for being weak, sadness that it had clouded her usual sound sense of judgement. But today was a new day and Lisbon was free.

"You never called me back."

"Jesus!" Lisbon breathed, a hand immediately going over her chest in an effort to calm herself. Patrick's eyes only narrowed as he observed her, eyes so calculating that the anger Lisbon felt was begining to stir.

"I'm here aren't I? And, do you mind?" She snapped, crossing her arms as if to shield herself from his check over. With that snarky comment, Patrick grinned.

"Ah no, not really." He put his hads in his pockets, still staring at her.

"Patrick." She said calmly.

"Hmm?"

"You are very weird." Patrick's smile faded a little as he thought, before shrugging a shoulder. The grin was back, too.

"Neh, I don't deny it. But the weird ones, Lisbon, are the interesting ones. The charming ones. The-"

"I get it, I get it." She held up her hands in mock surrender. "You have a huge ego. You think you're amazing and hot-"

"I never said hot. Why, Lisbon," he leaned close to her, catching her off guard, and she couldn't breathe-his aftershave was filling her nostrils and lungs.

"Do you think I'm attractive?"

Lisbon wanted to smack that smirk right off his damn face. In fact she had leaned up just to tell him of this revelation when a cough sonded from the door. Both Lisbon and Jane, inches away, turned their heads but did not move apart. Cho stood at the door, face expressionless.

"Well I guesss some things never change. Although I wish it would. Just go have sex and get over the sexual tension. Please." And then he was gone. Lisbon's mouth was hanging open, her eyes on the spot where Cho had just been. Her eyes then slowly slid to Patrick, who seemed just as shocked as she was.

And before she knew it was she giggling. Patrick looked even more surprised because Teresa Lisbon does_ not_ giggle.

But then he was snickering, and Lisbon was leaning foward, as if her body was going to break under the heaviness of her laughter. Jane watched this rare and wonderful moment, eyes bright. Lisbon then seemed to sober up and she straightened, cheeks flushed and her own eyes bright.

Laughter truly is the best medicine. Patrick touched a flushed cheek, and Lisbon froze.

"Lovely," He murmured before pulling away with regret. Lisbon then surprised him once more. She reached out and gripped his arm hard.

"Thank you." She allowed the moment to linger before releasing and then walked out, turning only once to flash him a smile before heading to her boss's room. Though in that small moment, all past arguments and harsh words were forgiven and forgotton, and their friendship was restored.

x.

x.

"So I have another week off but I'm allowed to do paperwork. How great is that?" Lisbon said, her eyes dancing around her small team. Grace squealed and stood up up to hug her, Rigsby offered his thoughts on how glad he would be to have her back (especially to control Jane, who of course denied that Lisbon controlled him) and Cho of course remained impassive.

"Never knew anyone who was so excited to do paper work. I'm expecting you to jump up and go, "wee." Though his black eyes glistened, and he winked at her.

"Anything to be out of the house," She said honestly.

"We are glad to have you back boss." Lisbon smiled warmly at the younger girl, glad to see that the relationship with her hadn't been shattered or damaged. In fact all Grace seemed to show her was understanding and concern, which Lisbon was still trying to work out. She was still trying to work out a lot of things, but she figured this was a pretty damn good start. Her job was secure, her team was loyal, she was free of abusive scumbags and... then there was Jane. She remembered the way he had felt so close to her, and she couldn't help jumping to conclusions of how he would _feel_ against her. Of course such thoughts of these immediately made Lisbon feel vulnerable-and vulnerability wasn't something she could afford.

"Ah," Jane was watching her carefully again, and his voice brought all conversations to a halt.

"She's back-the mask." He said it teasingly but Lisbon heard the underlying sense of disappointment.

_I was having fun picking Teresa and Lisbon apart. _

"Get back to work slacker." She looked around the room, eyes hardening.

"Now." There were the murmured and rush goodbyes and all but one fleed the room. Jane was still there.

"Having trouble without me?" She teased. He raised an eyebrow, his lips puckered to a smirk.

"No that was you. Good to see you back, in some ways... have a good day." And with that little statement Jane darted out the door, and Lisbon frowned, left reeling in the questions of Jane's words.

"Damn you Patrick Jane," she snarled, stomping to the door and shutting it before hurrying back to her desk. She sat down, pressing her back into the comfy chair as she stretched out.

Then her phone beeped.

"Oh what now?" she growled, flicking the small phone open. As she read, her face paled, she felt her breathing quicken as she struggled to get the oxygen to her frozen brain, and she swore she felt her eyes widen in a way they never had before.

She dropped the phone, as if it was poision itself and backed away from it, gripping the arm rests so tighly that her arms and hands soon became numb.

As well as the rest of her body.

_Hey babe, remember this? This is a video of you and me. And well... I'm sure you wouldn't want this to get out. I have copies so I'd be smart about how you handle this and make your decision wisely. You either come back to me or you ruin yourself. _

_I love you. _


	9. Robbed

**A/N: I tried hard with this. Dunno how it will be because it's three in the morning. **

**x.**

**x.**

It's funny how the body deals with feelings. It's funny how it can feel an emotion, as if it was something physical. The way it could_ slam_ into you and steal from you, take away your breath, take away the blood in your veins and replace it with itself, a poor substitute for the body. It's funny how you can feel so, so cold from just a feeling. That it has the power to take hold of your own little, insignficant world and throw it, throw it and smash it, break it. All the while, you're too busy standing there frozen, to take control. And when your body allows you to move again, when you are somewhat yourself again, it's too late to take control.

The dread hit Teresa Lisbon like a ton of bricks. Her body, that had been transformed back into something of her old self, sagged, her fingers too weak to hold the phone which clattered soundlessly to her desk. Horror began to invade her, wrapping her up in it's cold, causing tremors to shake through her. Her palms began to sting and she looked down, to realise that her nails were digging deeply into her skin. Her mouth was dry, but she could tase the wetness of blood, caused by the biting of her lip.

_How could he..what am I gonna do...video, god-how alcohol robs you of sanity and then destroys you later! How could he do this-why can't he leave me alone, what am I going to do?_

Her brain was in a marathon, running miles per second, and she mushed her hands against the sides of her head, trying to get her brain to get it together, because she couldn't think, and she needed to, she needed to get it together, needed to work it out. It was too loud in here, was she _screaming_ the thoughts now? Her ears were vibrating, her heart was hammering against her chest, the clock on the wall was too loud-had it always been _that loud_? Why didn't someone fix that? It was too hot in here-why was she sweating, wasn't it _winter_? Teresa let out a strangled whimper from her abused lips, choking on the last sounds of it.

That video. Why had she let him talk her into it? Why were human beings so cruel to get what they wanted? Why couldn't he leave her the hell alone? She stared at the phone, her eyes wide as she took it all in, the predicament she was in and what was at stake. She couldn't think too rationally right now, she needed time to come to terms with the fact that her life was over. That the power she had, had been taken from her. Her freedom has been so wrongfully taken from her, and she was, she was a lot of things. She was too broken to be pissed, but she could feel the anger forming. She now had to make a choice, and no matter what choice it would ultimately destroy her. She was going to help kill herself. If she let that video get out, who knows the consquences of what could happen? Her job would be at stake, she would lose everything she had worked for, and she would lose the respect of her friends. She would always be branded by that video, it would own her no matter what she did. And she would lose a very important part of her-her dignity. No, Teresa Lisbon was a proud woman.

Which meant she would have to stay with Jeff and he might very well kill her. And if he didn't, then she would very well wish he would. To not only be beaten but to live in fear of being beaten-to have to watch every thing you did, every word you said. And even that might not be enough to save you. Going back to this she would lose a part of herself she treasured-but at least she could do it without no one else ever knowing, and that bought some comfort to her, and that's what she would hold onto.

Teresa stared at the phone for a couple of hours, ignoring phone calls and the piles of folders on her desk. She sat still and rigid for so long that her body began to ache with cramps, telling her that she needed to stretch. Teresa began to pace her small office. Her hands were shaking, and her legs felt like they were going to cave in. The desire to curl up in here under her desk was so strong and compelling that Lisbon walked over to it a couple of times, touching it. But the very real possibility that someone could walk in and see her always stopped her, and she would contine to pace with her shaky hands and legs.

The door suddenly opened and Lisbon turned, her heart slamming against her chest before stopping altogether, causing her to wheeze loudly. A shaking hand flew to her throat, eyes widening as her body took in the scene and began to relax as it realised she was in no danger. Her scared eyes met Patrick Jane's. He was holding a cup in one hand, while his other remained on the doorknob. His eyes popped at Lisbon's unsual reaction, and seconds past before anyone spoke.

"Did I.._scare_ you?" Patrick finally asked, disbelief colouring his tone. Lisbon removed her hand and started pacing again.

"I...no, you startled me. I was deep in thought. Stop doing that." Her words were rushed, and she hopped they were too rushed to be able to hint anything to Jane.

"Mm..hmm. Alright then. Here's your coffee." He inched fowards carefully, not wanting to startle her because Lisbon looked, well, she looked _wrong._ That was the best way of describing it. He continued to look at her, noticed her slightly shaking hands, and the way her eyes darted around nervously. She was, Lisbon was a woman scared.

And this scared Patrick.

"You okay?"

"Peachy! Thanks for the coffee-probably had too much, can't you tell? Haha. How's your day going? Mine is going fine. Okay, nice chatting!" She waved at him, clearly dismissing him but he was not done yet. He would never be done with her.

"Lisbon talk to me."

"I need to concentrate! Gotta get back into my mojo." Patrick raised his eyebrows, biting his lip as he tried to study her. As she paced around the table, his eye caught something-a small cell phone. Patrick inched closer to that, keeping his eyes on Lisbon.

"Lisbon," he murmured softly. She stopped mid flight, finally turning to look at him. Her smile was now gone, her lips pursed and her eyes shooting out sparks. He was surprised that he wasn't on fire.

"Leave me alone! Why can't you just_ leave me alone_? Nobody cares _what the fuck I want_! It's just-it's all about _you_ isn't it? God!" She fumed, before continuing to pace. Patrick looked at her, then the phone, and then her once more.

"I can't leave you alone, but. I'm worried for you." He whispered. Lisbon just laughed, turning from him. He reached for the phone and pocketed it safely in his jeans.

"Well leave me alone-it's what I want." She finally stopped, breathing heavily, looking confused. Jane watched her, expression calculating as he tried to think how to handle this. Lisbon looked so distressed though that he decided to just do what she wanted.

"Alright then." he held up his hands in mock surrdender, giving her a smile. She breathed a laugh, her face crinkling in relief, and Patrick Jane slipped out of the room, patting his pocket as he did so.


End file.
